I was recently chatting with my friend about our childhoods, and he told me that when he was a toddler, he would take his finger and twist his hair around it. The finger would get stuck in the hair and of course hurt him, but he didn't realize he was the one hurting himself. His mom said he cried and tried to run away from whatever it was, and she had to catch him and get his finger out.

Of course I made lots of jokes about how this proves my theory of him being not too bright and all. But then it hit me - we do that very same thing all the time as not-so-little people. How often do you hear that voice in your head telling you something is a bad idea, but you do it anyway, only to be mad later because of the consequences? I do it all the time. I'll procrastinate on something, then get mad when at the last minute as I'm trying to catch up, something needs my attention. I'll give that thing attention and then blame it on that distraction that I was late with whatever I'd procrastinated on.

Another one - sometimes I get mad at God and biology itself if I gain a few pounds. Like it's God's fault when I put off the gym for three weeks and develop an obsession with breakfast burritos. I'm twisting and pulling my own hair. I'm hurting myself and blaming someone or something else - but the difference between me and my friend as a toddler is that I know what's really going on. I'm deliberately sabotaging myself to get out of doing something hard or restraining myself from something bad. And you know what that is - to do something knowing that it's going to hurt you? That is stupid. Plain, straight up stoopid.

Sometimes you have to do the things you don't want to do, or avoid the things you do want to do. Sometimes we all just have to suck it up and be our own leader.

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